April!

I can't believe tomorrow is April. Usually at this point in my pregnancy I'm counting down the days till April so when people ask when I'm due I can say "next month". This time around I am simply too distracted (or too much in denial) to even notice. The other day I was working a booth at the Baby Day Expo and someone asked me when I was due... to which I replied MAY. She smiled and said... "you don't have too much longer" and I was like... "oh I've got a while." I totally forgot that it was nearly April when I said this. I really need to find a way to deeply connect with this pregnancy very quickly. I really think that I lost that connection when I thought I had lost him.... and now that I have him, I just don't know where to start with the mental excitement of having another little guy!

Lately Dominic is not taking the baby concept lightly and get's mad when I'm holding Josiah or Chantelle. Not the greatest feeling but I HOPE that he will do good with his own little brother!!!

On a complete different note... I have decided to do some serious research on homeschooling my boys! (For anyone who knows my boys you may wonder how I could be so insane!) The "no child left behind" policy ruins education these days. Children are left to get bored with a subject because other students are having a hard time with the concept. I don't want my boys sitting at school... learning crap when they could be home learning at THEIR OWN PACE!! I get that my children are not genius YET... but they need the time to focus on stuff that is hard and move on when stuff is easy. I also recall being taught a lot of propaganda when I was in school. Like the hole in the ozone layer... and one person's take on history. I want my kids to explore and realize that life isn't black and white. I want them to have the opportunity to research and form their own conclusions.

I used to worry that Homeschool would be bad for social interacting but I think it will do the opposite. The boys have so many extra activities... (taekwondo, baseball, cub scouts, soccer) that they would have ample opportunity to interact with others. On another note... they would learn to interact on a more kind/considerate level as they will be learning how to interact from an adult perspective and not from other children. I hate to think that my kids spend entire recesses learning the art of teasing others or being teased themselves. I would prefer they learn to love life and value others before they learn to cut others down and that life is completely unfair!!!

I have no clue why I am even considering it with the future looking like me with two monkeys on my hip trying to help my older boys explore.... but I'm home all day... and I think that if I could figure it out... it would be an amazing experience!!!

Anyone have any thoughts?

Love you all, and thanks for reading!!!

Birth!

So for anyone who may not know... I spent 30 hours at a birth this weekend! It was insane and exhausting and BEAUTIFUL!!! I only wish I had been rested so I could have been more mentally supportive in the end... I was very physically supportive though.. my arms hurt for 2 days after from pushing on hips and sacrums and such! I totally loved this couple... it was a lot of fun... and I'm happy to say that I think I've finally caught up on my sleep.

Holy Toledo... I'm pregnant!

So... this pregnancy has been so bizarre and full of twists and turns that I think maybe I've forgotten that the final result is a baby! Seriously it just hit me yesterday that I have 4 paychecks left till the little guy arrives (2 of which are rent checks!) and when you live paycheck to paycheck that is a very scary realization. I have no diapers... no nursing pads,no milk storage bags, no no no.....so much more... I have got to get and ahhh... he is really going to be here!

I also have been in some sort of denial regarding the fact that I am destined to get bigger and possibly uncomfortable. This kinda freaks me out. I am thinking holy crap I need to get in shape for the big day. And I need to exercise so I don't get miserable... and NO waddling is not a right of passage... and I don't want to ever be just huge and whiny... with Dominic I never felt miserable but I worked out the whole time. I'm afraid if I don't get to exercising I'm going to regret it come the last 4 weeks and there is no good reason to be miserable for 4 weeks!!! (Especially when it can be prevented by exercise!)

Anyway... I am having a hard time thinking about getting bigger and having a lot of weight sitting on my bladder and peeing more and leaking when I sneeze. Pregnancy is definitely not glamorous. I just want to be calm.. but nothing about this pregnancy has allowed me to be calm. AHHH!!!!!!

3 pounds?

So if my baby only weighs 3 pounds.. why have I gained ten?!?! I hate pregnancy weight! BLECK!!

The big boy bed!

So... Dominic transitioned into his car bed beautifully. At first I was nervous and didn't want to fight it.. but once he realized that bed time meant we were all in bed he decided that staying in his bed was just fine with him. He sleeps in it just like he did his crib. Lays down, says night night, goes to sleep! AMAZING!! YAY for good sleeping habits!

Just my favorite little birth vid... reminds me of the first birth I attended!

Life

So things have been crazy, chaotic and slightly desperate lately. Stress seems to be building intensely and I'm wishing more and more every day that I had a hole to crawl in. We are sort of at this point in life where we just can't seem to catch a break... but we definitely seem to be broke. My head is always spinning and thinking of all the crap that I have no means of changing! No one is happy in our house and life is basically miserable. I really need something to break up the stress. At this point getting a job might be my only option. I just wish life could be easy and stress free.. but of course, it's simply not the case.

I guess I have to remind myself that it could always be worse, although I'm not sure how that would be possible at this point!

Hope everyone is doing well!