Hip hip hooray!!

So I've realized in the past few days that I pretty much have NO maternity clothes. I had a couple pairs of pants with Dominic that were just way too comfortable to stop wearing, or got worn to work one to many times that are now officially ruined, so today in desperation I posted on my myspace for maternity clothes.

This didn't actually result in anything except for a couple of skinny people making fun of the fact that I probably wouldn't fit in there XS maternity clothes! (Kay well they weren't really making fun of me but honestly... did they really think I meant them when I was asking for help?)

Anyway.... I got on KSL and Craigslist and found a lot of maternity clothes that was in Alpine for $100. It was posted literally like 2 months ago so I wrote her... not sure if anything would be left and asked her if I could maybe pick through the maternity clothes instead of buying all of them! ($100 is not in my budget.) She called me late this afternoon and told me that she had them all and she was about to take them to D.I. so if I want them I CAN HAVE THEM FREE!!!! So we drove to Alpine and picked up this garbage bag full of REALLY cute maternity stuff that's just my size! :o) I'm very excited and grateful for the Internet!!! Seriously... how did we ever survive without it?

Slacker...

So I've been a little bit of a slacker with my blogging... I'm going to try and be more on top of it though! I love reading other peoples blogs and check them frequently so I suppose that I should have known that other people check mine frequently as well! (HI LES!!) Well, Christmas has come and gone and somehow we managed to survive it all! Above is the boys with the Christmas tree before they started opening presents! It was pretty dang funny because they realized early on that square boxes were clothes. Soon they started digging for presents that WERE NOT in the boxes, cause they wanted to find toys and didn't really care so much about their clothes! Dominic was adorable and was as excited about his pants as he was about his new Buzz and Woody dolls! It was adorable!

Damon and Jaydin were excited when they opened up another square box and found light sabers instead of clothes.... we'll see how long they last. We've learned in the past not to buy expensive light sabers cause honestly it doesn't really matter! They break them all equally!

And the 88 cent Christmas bargain was the whoopee cushions! Both the boys spent a lot of time yesterday trying to prank others with their amazing whoopee cushions! I had a little fun with them as well trying to see just how juicy I could make my whoopee cushion experience sound! ;o) Honestly... glad they were cheap... and glad that they will be ruined before school starts again!

So now we embark on the famous Christmas vacation. We've been really busy since school originally got out so I haven't had a lot of time to be stressed by the boys fighting! Today will be interesting. I'm excited that they got some fun toys because I can hold them hostage until their chores are done! I am a little distraught by a few of the gifts that were purchased before we knew we were having a baby. This list includes, small legos, magnetix and battleship! If my kids are not very careful with them immediately... they will be in the trash bin faster than they can blink! The last thing I want is my new little guy trying to swallow a medal ball! (HEHE as I was typing this Jaydin got mad and chucked a medal magnetix ball across the play room... I wish they wouldn't have opened them... I would take them back!)

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Mine couldn't have been better! Hearing my boys talk about how spoiled they are was wonderful! (and obnoxious because they have been so naughty!) I really need to make the naughty list mean something next year!

Love you all! Happy holidays! ;o)

Surprise!!!!!

Here is the story as best I can tell it!!! Today marks the 6 week "anniversary" of the miscarriage. I took a pregnancy test 3 weeks ago that came back positive but everything I read on the Internet said it can take up to 6 weeks to get a negative test and 6 weeks to have a period. Well.. I've been waiting fairly patiently but still have not started my period. So yesterday I went to walmart and bought another pregnancy test cause I figured... this will be my peace of mind! I peed on the stick with great vigor only to be completely blown away (and terrified) when it was STILL POSITIVE!!!

I had been researching the absence of this period and knew from my many online sources that positive pregnancy tests that far after a loss can only mean that you have not completely dispelled the tissue! UGH!!! Now really if it's been six weeks I should be very sick by now... which I haven't been, but I still just assumed this meant I was going to have to fork out the money, go to the DR. and have a D&C!
I e-mailed the midwife I was planning on using, but decided to call another midwife who I knew had A LOT of personal experience with miscarriage. The following is our phone conversation!

K: Hi Holly, this is Kari Adams, I'm wondering if you have a minute to talk to me.
H: Sure what's up?
K: I miscarried 6 weeks ago but still haven't had a period and got a positive pregnancy test today!
H: How do you know you miscarried?
(WHAT?!?!?! I was totally blown away by this!)
K: Well, I was bleeding lots of bright red blood and passed a palm sized clot....
H: Nope... I think you're still pregnant!
(WTF?!?!?!? Is that even possible?)
H: It doesn't sound like you passed any tissue... tissue is gray.
K: But the clot was so big and it was really thick and could not be separated!
H: Nah... if it looked like liver... it was a clot!
K: Can you just do that? Actively bleed and pass clots while you are pregnant and still be pregnant?
H: YUP!! I have twice!

So at this point I'm completely flabbergasted and she says the cheapest way to find out if I'm pregnant or not is to go to the Ultrasound place in the mall (that tells you what the sex of your baby is) and pay $50 for an ultrasound. So I called them up and scheduled it after Darin got off work. He met me at the mall and we tried to explain that we thought we had miscarried... blah blah blah and she understands and says, kay lets do this! She puts the jelly on my belly and then the ultrasound probe and the first thing I see looks something like this:

Followed by this lovely profile:

Followed very closely by this:

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. There floating inside me is this beautiful little person who I was certain had died. So boys and girls... my baby has a heartbeat.... and a penis! ;o)

12 Days of Christmas!

Wow! Only 12 days till Christmas and thanks to Vicki... I think I'm actually READY!! WOW!!! Lately life seems to be moving a little slow, which is kind of a nice change for my little world. Highlights include:

*The Food Fight!

*Darin not passing his step test the first time with 93% of his class (seriously only 2 people passed!)

*Ethan and Nicholette coming over for dinner!

*Finding Apples to Apples at Target for a killer price.

*Getting a gift for my in-laws that not only will get used but will probably be enjoyed.

*Anticipating the excitement of attending a birth! (Super cute client, due any day!)

*Having amazing family and a sister who really sticks her neck out to help!

*Having a husband who is happy and kisses me goodbye in the morning!

Lately I've been having headaches and have been really tired. Hopefully it will pass. Either way, I feel pretty blessed! I love my family and really feel blessed! Well, I'm being summoned from the crib... Dominic calls! "Mommy, mommy, mommy!"

Hope things are good for all of you!

Wow! What a proud mom!

So today I get a call from Darin! It seems that he just got off the phone with the school principal and my dear sweet Jaydin started a food fight at lunch! Love it! He proceeded to explain that Jaydin had convinced him that it was his friends idea and he just went along with it. Hmm... this is Jaydin we are talking about! So sweet, so innocent, such a leader, and maybe too good at pulling his "I'm so little" routine to get out of mischief! Either way... what to do to a 6 year old who starts food fights at school?

Christmas..... the countdown is KILLING ME!!

So Christmas is approaching and the stress levels are building. It's sad to say that we have never been so broke at Christmas time. Darin's switching jobs was necessary but left us without PTO, Paid Holidays AND NO CHRISTMAS BONUS!! And since we've had holidays and a terrible bought of a stomach flu... we have very much been missing these benifits. The new job also killed all the overtime and lately we've been spending more than $300 a month on gas for Darin's truck, (although he is supposed to be getting a truck in the next couple weeks as the project he will be running is nearing a start)... so.... we are broke! Christmas is just around the corner.... and even though I don't encourage it... my boys believe that Santa will save Christmas! (They don't know that we are broke.. they just think they will get whatever they want because Santa's elves can make it just as good as Wal-Mart and Santa eats the cost!! I would give anything to have them be small again and not know the difference! I can't wrap toys they already have, or give them the few clothes I have already bought. They have to go to school and listen to everyone else brag about Christmas. So the money making ideas are getting fancy. Today I strip wire till the blisters are unbearable. Tomorrow... whatever I can get my hands on! ;o)


Oh Santa! If only life were easy! I could have you strangle a stork and bring me a baby! Maybe a girl this time! ;o)

Finally Pampered Chef info!

Kay.. if you want to check out the catalogue and maybe order... heres the website!
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/jenniferharmon
Just type me... Karilynn Adams in as your hostess!

I'm closing my show on Friday and as it stands now... my numbers are a little low. So check it out! Maybe there is something you are needing or dieing to try!
Love you all!

Pampered Chef!

Hey guys! I'm having a Pampered Chef Party tonight. Apparently Pampered Chef has these great new websites for their consultants so that people in the outside world can place orders on friends parties far away. (Like I post a link, you click on it and you have instant access to the entire catalog and whatever you buy goes on my party! ;o) ) Anyway... I will post the link today or tomorrow. For whatever reason, I haven't gotten the info yet. So if there is anything you might be interested in buying... I promise I will have the link up ASAP!

LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

Happy Day!

We have had sooo many birthdays in our family in the last month that Dominic has found a new favorite song! I actually found him singing it this morning when I went to get him out of his bed! "Happy Day to you!" He sings it everywhere he goes. It's adorable and it reminds me that life can be simple... sometimes a reminder from an 18 month old is all you need! :o)

Christmas!

So as tradition would have it in our home.. we put up our tree and some decorations today... here's the corner where the tree is! We had to do some rearranging of furniture to make everything fit!

We moved the piano to a different wall! It's makes a great holder of Christmas knick-knacks! I really love just listening to Christmas music and staring at all the pretty lights and decor!

Now we have to figure out how much to spend on Christmas and what to buy! I really hate the Santa Clause hype cause my kids don't get that SANTA does not have unlimited amounts of money! They are certain that his elves can make everything they want for way cheaper than wal-mart! Silly boys.... what to do?

Thanksgiving!

So I found this little comic while looking through Thanksgiving codes... thought it was totally appropriate! :o)

Maybe a little prozac would keep everyone sane this Thanksgiving!

Wow.. life is crazy!

So the last few days have been pretty insane... let's see....

Justin & Jessica found themselves in need of a place to stay for a couple days while moving from one apartment to the next. They had to be out of one place on Friday but can't move into the next till TODAY.... so I've spent a lot of time helping them move! My garage is full of their stuff.... and today I will help load and unload the moving truck one last time.

Darin's old boss screwed up on his paycheck and when I pointed it out they told me that they only pay overtime after 80 hours. (Darin worked 50.5 hours one week and only 32 hours the next week! So he only got paid for 2.5 hours of overtime.) So I spent a day exchanging e-mails with her, updating her on the FEDERAL labor laws. There should be a check arriving in the mail today or tomorrow.

Life is weird lately. Like I'm so glad that Darin changed companies, but we've sacrificed a lot in him doing that. I mean, we lost paid holidays and a bonus and accrued PTO that we were planning on using to go to Colorado for Thanksgiving. So now we can't go... it's just way too much money to lose right at Christmas time. I'm really bummed. I was really looking forward to spending the holiday with my sis-in-law and her kids. I also love spending holidays with Darin's parents, but.... we will just end up doing what we do every year, spend it with my family! Don't get me wrong I love all our family traditions. And I love being with my siblings and MOST of their spouses. I just wish our get togethers didn't involve my dad throwing a fit! Or any of the brother in laws freaking out (I'm not excluding Darin when I say brother in laws)! BLECK!!!!

I am hoping that I will be picking up a new doula client. I really want to get some more births under my belt. I am excited to go to a different hospital and experience birth with a person that I don't know as personally as the births I have previously attended. It will also be nice to not be raging with pregnancy hormones while trying to be super supportive.

Life is full of twists and turns and lately I just feel blah. Not overly happy or sad in anyway... just blah. So blah blah blah! Hope you are all having a fabulous time! :o)

Dominic's Meltdowns!

So today Dominic had 2 episodes that cannot be desribed as anything but total meltdowns. Like he just started screaming at the top of his lungs and saying no over and over again! I really don't deal well with screaming so both meltdowns resulted in nap time. I just wish I knew what was bringing them on! Jaydin also had a meltdown today. Just started crying when I mentioned something small.... my boys are having a hard time, and I'm not sure why. Darin and I are doing fantastic. He is happy and gets to leave work at work at the end of the workday. Maybe it's me.... I guess I'd better take a chill pill!

Happy Birthday!

So today is my favorite big sisters birthday! That's right boys and girls. Vicki is 29!!! So I just wanted to devote this little blog to her!! So in honor of my sister... here are some fun quotes about sisters and a poem or two:

"Chance made us Sisters, hearts made us friends." ~unkown

"A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost." Marion C. Garretty

"If your sister is in a tearing hurry to go out and cannot catch your eye, she's wearing your best sweater." Pam Brown

"The best thing about having a sister was that I always have a friend." Cali Rae Turner

"I smile because your my sister...I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it!"

I LOVE YOU!!!!

There is no Friend like a Sister - Mary Engelbreit

There's no better friend than a sister -

There's no one more loyal and true . . .

and even when sisters are different . . .

their likeness comes shining through!

Perhaps it's a family resemblance

that strengthens the bond they share . . .

or maybe it's just that sisters live life with a similar flair!

A sister remembers your collegehood -

She knows more than you will admit

of times you were Little Miss Perfect . . .

and times you gave others a fit!

She's seen you in some situations

when silence just wouldn't suffice . . .

and managed somehow to get by

with those sisterly words of advice!

And when some encouragement's needed . . .

a sister will always be there . . .

to listen . . .

to laugh . . .

or to lean on . . .

to comfort, or simply to care.

There's no one who's more in your corner . . .

and no one you're more grateful to.

There's no better friend than a sister . . .

and no better [big] sister than you.

Labor Laws??

Darin had accrued 3 days PTO at the job he just quit but when I checked his paystub it wasn't showing on it. I asked the boss/wife/lady to let me know what would happen with it and this was her reply (via e-mail):

"I wished you would have notified me in September about Darin's vacation not being on the paystub. ESG was supposed to have that effective then. Oh well. It doesn't much matter now. Cashing out the extra vacation is only legally obligated to those who get fired. I'll double check, but with Darin not even giving two weeks notice and leaving us in a bind, it will only be allocated if it is legally owed to him, sorry. I would have no problem giving it had he given two weeks. Monday's will be on though. Also, final checks are usually physical checks instead of direct deposit."

Lol! Now I'm not really familiar with the actual legalities but it is my understanding that the PTO that is accrued is owed regardless of who terminates employment or the circumstances surrounding the termination. (At least in the State of Utah.) So... now that I have this great e-mail... I can go to the Labor/Wage people with proof that she acknowledges it! Some people are not so bright! I wrote her back a very kind e-mail! I am proud of all the things I typed... but then deleted because it wouldn't do any good! Why do harm right?


NEW STUFF!!!! So after she sent that e-mail she sent me this:

"Trent did think Darin was avoiding him--especially since there was no communication from Darin as to a thank you or good luck at the end of the day. Had that happen, maybe Trent would feel differently about cashing out the vacation days. I did double check with ESG, and I was right. The employer has the right to either cash out or not cash out vacation when an employee quits. Each company is different."

So I called the payroll company myself (because it's Veterans Day and the Labor Commission is closed) and their exact words were, "Uhh... we don't really know what the legalities are. We just do whatever TJ Electric tells us to." Than she said she needed to call TJ Electric and would call me back, but hasn't managed to dial my number yet!

I guess it's not really worth getting too stressed over... but it does reiterate why Darin needed to get out of there. He was dealing with this kind of childish selfishness every hour of every day... no wonder he was stressed!

And so it goes!

So yesterday we threw a little party for my oldest brother who turned the big 3-0! on Friday! It was really a vision I had with black balloons and cupcakes with tombstone on them. It was a lot of fun but of course not exactly the vision I had pictured because we are all broke! Payday isn't till Wednesday for me so blah. But it was still fun and I think it made him feel really good.

Darin starts his new job tomorrow. He seems pretty excited about it so I hope that it goes very smoothly. As it turns out he already knows one of the guys he'll be working with and the main guy he is working with is named Damon!! With a name like that, dudes gotta be cool right?

I am still a little nervous about how we will fund Christmas but I'm sure we will find a way. I mean maybe it will be good for us to not spend a lot of money this year. Our kids are small enough that they don't care right?!?!?

Okay.. so this is a lot of blah blah blah but just wanted to post something!

One last time!

Today is Darin's LAST DAY working for TJ Electric. Hip Hip Hooray. No more empty promises, no more flat out lies, no more working for a man who would rather make excuses than take accountability!!

Monday he starts with what we hope... is where he is going to stay! Everything sounds perfect about this company! (But it sounded good with TJ as well!) The big difference is that this guy has been in business for at least 18 years and he has proven that the things he says are standard for his company really are that way. He sees his employees as assets and he does whatever he can to keep those assets around. Anyway.. hip hip hooray!

Tonight we are going to celebrate this new change! Can't wait to have a little get together and see Darin finally be Darin again! Yay for new jobs!

Sunshine

Today I have been blessed with lots of love!
First my older Sis. Vicki babysat Dom so I could go read with Jaydin's class. Then Nicholette offered to babysit Dom so I could go get a pedicure, which had I had the funds would have been great. My sis-in-law Jess brought me over some lunch and I held her new baby and stared at his fingers, and just thought about how my baby should have fingers by now, but I didn't cry! Jessica also spent some time cleaning until my mom got here and took over! She is working really hard to help me get my house clean. I think this will help me be sane. Then around 3:15 my doorbell rang, which NEVER happens and this cute girl was standing there holding a beautiful arrangement of flowers for me. I was a little surprised and tried not to cry, but I read the card, and of course, the tears started to flow. My sweet sister in law who lives in Colorado sent me these with the perfect message! Thanks so much Elise!!

So my visiting teacher just brought me dinner and let me know that it is hot so I guess we should go eat. Thank you everyone who has thought of us. Your love helps a lot!

When it rains, eventually, it stops pouring.

Today, some light shone through on our poor little family. I got out of bed this morning even though I didn't want to and went to the school to do some volunteering. I even voted. I had a major melt down in the afternoon and right in the middle of the trauma, this girl from church called and asked if she could bring us dinner. (It was good too!)

I have been stressing over Darin finding a job with a company that has PROVEN that they care about their employees. Darin is always good to his employers so the "if your good to me I'll be good to you" attitude is really all he needs. Although finding someone who is good regardless is hard to find. So I cried a lot and told Darin how I felt about everything and he let me write a list of questions and took them to the company who is trying to hire him. He came home ecstatic. Life is good.

Lately I've been feeling more and more jipped by the miscarriage. Like tomorrow I will be 11 weeks, except I won't be, because I'm not pregnant. It's just so weird adjusting to not being pregnant anymore when you don't have a baby to show for it. I know it will get easier to deal with and have finally come to terms with the fact that I will never forget this. In the beginning I sort of wanted to chalk it up to bad luck and move on, except I can't because I wanted that baby so bad, and now I won't ever hold it. Damon started crying last night, kind of out of nowhere because "it was his brother or sister that died" and that isn't something I can ignore.

Life is full of challenges. I usually find a way to overcome them. I think with this one I just need to find a way to be okay with it.... but I will, hopefully soon! Thanks for all your kind thoughts. I know that you all hurt when I hurt, and I'm sorry to pass the pain on to you, but it feels kind of good to share the load.

Tomorrow is another day, maybe I'll even feel like cleaning! (But probably not!)

The Lie

So as most of you guessed #2 is the lie. Darin had actually dumped me by the time I found out I was pregnant! He even had a new girlfriend already, so finding out I was pregnant was devastating and I spent a lot of time contemplating adoption. So yeah... not the best time in my life but everything turned out for the best!
Thanks for playing my game!

Like a rock!

Sometimes I don't want to be a rock. I'm not always strong. I'm not always able to handle everything.
Sometimes I want someone to lean on. Who will just let me cry and not expect me to be stronger than that.
Sometimes I need to feel like I can count on other people....
Sometimes I need my spouse to let me be a weak, whiny woman.
Sometimes I need my children to just listen the first time, because I can't bare to ask again.
Sometimes I need people to think of me and what they can do for me, instead of what I can do for them.

I just need someone who I can really count on to help me out when I am weak, cause I feel so alone, and so small right now.

I HATE ALWAYS BEING THE ROCK!

The more I cry, the more WE cry, the more we realize what WE'VE lost.

Hey all

So don't forget to comment on my 3 truths and a lie post. I really want to see what ya'll think. I will extend the date of the revealing of the lie until more people have commented. Thanks Elise and Kim for taking a stab at it.
Love all of you!
Thanks for your thoughtful words and support!

Karilynn

Here's a lemon for ya.

Last night, I lost the baby (as in the baby in my tummy, the one I was supposed to have in May, the one who was supposed to be my last). How do you make pie out of that?

What I've Lost

Tonight I lost:

A little bit of hope,
A little bit of fear,
A little bit of naivety,
A little bit of surety,
A little bit of joy,
A little bit of pain,
And a whole lot of blood.

3 Truths and a lie!

My sis-in-law posted this fun game so here I go! I am going to write four facts about me. 3 will be true... but one will be.... not exactly honest! Just for fun I'll stick to the theme she used, LOVE!! Let's see who can guess which are true and which is a LIE!!!


1. I met my Hubby when I was 19. Got married when I was 19 and had my first baby when I was 19.

2. I knew right from the start that Darin was the one for me! So when I found out I was pregnant I was certain our life together would have it's challenges but for the most part be beautiful.

3. The first couple years of marriage were pretty rough for us, but after we figured eachother out, life became easier and I love my hubby more each day!

4. If mother in-laws could be chosen from a line-up I would choose the one I got! She is amazing! Seriously one of the greatest women I have ever known!


Kay... so those might sort of be lame... but I should be cleaning... and procrastination is burning a hole in my brain! Good Luck All!! I'll tell you which one is the lie on Sunday I guess!

So tired!

For the last few weeks, I've been so tired! Like I really really need naps but don't manage to get them. Sometimes I think I need a break. I spend every day babysitting or entertaining and all that results from it is a messy house and sheer exhaustion. I wish I could say I'll wait till later to nap, but Jay has Taekwondo and blah blah blah. Oh well... I guess worst case scenario I will get used to being so tired! Right now I would give anything for a binky (to get my niece to stop crying) and a nap!

What to do with lemons?

So... we have a lot of lemons coming our way and although lemonade would be nice, it's more like being knocked over when one hits you in the head.

Ever since the company Darin worked for (almost from the start of his electrical career) went under we've found an abundance of lemons piled on our door step. So just because I feel like venting today. I will number and stack them one by one for the whole world to see!

#1-When the company went kapoot they did not have "the funds" to issue final paychecks. This was a couple thousand dollars that we just didn't get!

#2- As Darin started looking for other jobs he realized that NO ONE pays as much as the company he was working for was paying. So while he was anticipating a $4 raise when he got his journeyman he found himself talking to several people who weren't sure if they could pay him the money he was already making as an apprentice. (In the midst of the chaos from the job loss he took a week off, passed his final test, and got his journeyman license. )

#3- When he finally decided on a company (he had about 7 job offers ranging in pay and benefits) he picked a company based on information given to him that was NOT TRUE! We were told this company was huge and well established, NOT SO!!

#4- The owner of this company is bi-polar or something! (That's a nice way of saying he's an asshole.) One day he's telling him how much he appreciates him and the next day he's asking him why he didn't get more done.
- He has told Darin a lot of lies. I'm not saying that he intended to have them be lies. I think he really wanted them to be true, but either way.... they are lies! (Like that he wouldn't be running a job site and then making him run it. Or that he could have benefits sooner when that's actually not possible.)
- He has another journeyman in Utah county who has been working for him for like 5 years and according to him this guy can do no wrong. Darin spends a lot of time listening to people complain about this guy and occasionally cleans up his messes but for the most part, they kind of avoid each other.
- He and his OTHER journeyman do not take responsibility for their actions. If something is done wrong or not done at all they make up an excuse and blame it on anyone but themselves! WHO WANTS TO WORK FOR A COMPANY THAT DOESN'T TAKE ON ANY ACCOUNTABILITY? Who wants to do business with a company like this?

#5- For the last several weeks Darin has been required to work an hour and a half from home every day and for the last 2 weeks he has been required to work 3 hours away and sleep there over night. (They go up on Thursday and come home on Friday.)

#6- I got Darin's paycheck today and not surprising, his promised raise was NOT on it! Go figure. It's like pulling teeth to get this guy to do what he says he's going to do.

#7- Darin is miserable, tired and mean all the time. Physically and emotionally exhausted from dealing with all the BULLSHIT!!

#8- The company has a little bit of a "high school drama" going on. For whatever reason, after 9:00 every night Darin is sure to get a call from his boss asking him if so and so is talking shit, or so and so said you said.... is this true!? WTF? Are we in high school? I mean seriously... this dude has no women working for him... so what's his excuse?

And so as I would like to take these lemons and make some lemon meringue pie, I'm tied down to helplessness. Darin should find another job. One where he is genuinely appreciated, but who's to say that somewhere else will be better? If there was one thing that was exceptional about his previous company it was that they always showed that they appreciated him, and they never lied. I know that there has got to be somewhere better for him, even if it doesn't pay as much. But where?

Halloween Party

So somehow I volunteered to be in charge of a craft at Damon's Halloween party. Unfortunately, I was told that the room mom would get back to me to verify and totally spaced it until 2 days ago. Then yesterday she called and confirmed that I was indeed in charge of a craft. (Including purchasing/bringing supplies!) I wasn't sure what I was going to do so I spent like an hour looking all over the Internet and finally found something that seemed like it would take the allotted amount of time and be fairly self explanatory to a bunch of second graders. I then had to wait till Darin's paycheck was direct deposited this morning to go buy the necessary materials and after attending the "Halloween Parade" at the school, I rushed home to attempt to make this Halloween craft! I'm excited to say that it worked out just fine.... here's a pic of my handy work.

Sorry, it's shadowy cause it's not flat and I just scanned it. So I know it's a little silly.. but it will work!!! I wasn't sure what to use for hip bones and all I had in my pantry was mini marshmallows... so there you go! It is also made of Q-tips and glue. That's all.... so not too bad is it? It's simple... but I'm kind of proud! :o)

Pregnancy..... Hmm....

So... I've been pregnant for practically 10 weeks now.. (minus the 2 weeks I wasn't actually pregnant that count as being pregnant! ;o) ) And so far... so good. Besides hormones... which may cause a divorce if they don't stop kicking my ass.... I really haven't been too sick, just really really tired and did I mention BITCHY?? Seriously people. I am so laid back. It kills me to feel all whiney about everything but alas, it's my last pregnancy so I just need to suck it up for 30 more weeks. Lately I have been having a very interesting fear. In previous births I have felt a great DESIRE to have a girl. I mean, with my hubby having 7 boys in his family, I guess I felt like if I could just get one girl then I would know that I didn't have "The Curse". WIth this pregnancy, I am actually concerned. What if I do have a girl? I don't think I want one anymore. I mean really what would I do with a girl? It would be fun to shop in the girl section and do her hair all cute, but girls turn into young ladies.... and teenagers.... and can physically push out a baby. BLECK!! I don't want to deal with teenage girls, periods, boobs, hormones. Anyway... I just keep telling myself I'm having a boy. I'm sure that this will be the scenario. I already call my tummy "HE" and I'm constantly thinking of boy names. So for everyone who knows me, and knows that the odds are against me anyway... I would appreciate if you would reassure me that once again my baby will have a penis!!! I love boys!

Josiah!!

So today I had the pleasure of attending the birth of my newest nephew, Josiah Lewis Bartlett. He is beautiful. It was an amazing experience. The birth was a little difficult. My sis-in-law was induced and on the highest dose of pitocin for several hours. The baby also turned out to be "face up" so the pressure was much more intense than anticipated! She did amazing anyway and managed to make it unmedicated even with all of the chaos. Her Dr. was wonderful and my brother was the best support any hubby could be! So congrats to Justin and Jessica! And thanks for letting me be a part of it! :o)

Roosevelt

So Darin is working far away in Roosevelt for the next couple of days! I have no idea what to anticipate for my boys during this time but I'm sure it will be exciting either way. Tomorrow I am so excited to be attending the birth of the newest Bartlett. Josiah Lewis Bartlett is scheduled for delivery via induction tomorrow and I know it's going to be a completely different adventure from the last birth I attended. I really need to break out my manuals and do some refreshing... I want to be the best doula I can be! ;o)

Hormones suck!

So I just wanted to take a minute to apologize to everyone who loves me for my bitchy ways! I seriously hate feeling ticked off all the damn time but alas... I can't make the constant ball of frustration in my head go away! I have tried... but have been unsuccessful. It's really hard for me to feel angry so often because that just isn't who I am! I think I'm really happy that this will be my last pregnancy, cause it will be the last time in my life that I have to feel this way. I do remember these feelings with Dominic! It was like a yearning to be and feel normal. I hope it passes soon cause I really do hate it! So bare with me all of you. I really do hope that soon it will be all better.

When opportunity knocks!

So my children always take the most opportune times to be HORRIBLE!! It's like they look at me and see that I am weak and tired and they say... hey now's a good time to torture mom! Hit me and I'll hit you back and we'll run around the house screaming of injustices while mom cries! It's like they run in opposite directions so I can't catch them both! Seriously... today has been so frustrating! I really really need a nap! Maybe tomorrow I will make the boys walk to school so they can get a deeper appreciation for everything I do for them... because I would hate for them to take things in life for granted!

Lyrics on my mind!

Cold As You - Taylor Swift

you have a way of coming easily to me

and when you take, you take the very best of me

so i start a fight cause i need to feel something

and you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted

oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day

just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say

and now that i'm sitting here thinking it through

i've never been anywhere cold as you

you put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray

and i stood there loving you and wished them all away

and you come away with a great little story

of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day

just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say

and now that i'm sitting her thinking it through

i've never been anywhere cold as you

you never did give a damn thing honey but i cried, cried for you

and i know you wouldn't have told nobody if i died, died for you

oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day

every smile you fake is so condescending

counting all the scars you made

and now that i'm sitting here thinking it through

i've never been anywhere cold as you

Maybe He'll Notice Her Now - Mindy McCready

She wrote, "I feel just like that painting, collecting dust on the wall

And every day you walk right by me, and don't know I'm there at all

And I can't think of one single reason, why I should be hanging around"

She signed it, "I hope that you'll miss me", and she drove herself out of town

Maybe he'll notice her now, maybe he'll open his eyes

Sometimes it takes somebody leaving for a man to realize

Maybe he'll tell her she's the only thing that he can't live without

Now that she's gone maybe he'll notice her now

When he came home late that evening, he called her name down the hall

He saw the outline of the painting that used to hang there on the wall

And in its place on the nail was a letter, he read it out loud to himself

And the loneliness began to take over and for once he knew just how she felt

Maybe he'll notice her now, maybe he'll open his eyes

Sometimes it takes somebody leaving for a man to realize

Maybe he'll tell her she's the only thing that he can't live without

Now that she's gone maybe he'll notice her now

He called her up, he said I have been such a fool

She said I will come back and boy I still love you

Maybe he'll notice her now, maybe he'll open his eyes

Sometimes it takes somebody leaving for a man to realize

Maybe he'll tell her she's the only thing that he can't live without

Now that she's gone maybe he'll notice her now

I'm coming home, maybe you'll notice me now