Like a rock!

Sometimes I don't want to be a rock. I'm not always strong. I'm not always able to handle everything.
Sometimes I want someone to lean on. Who will just let me cry and not expect me to be stronger than that.
Sometimes I need to feel like I can count on other people....
Sometimes I need my spouse to let me be a weak, whiny woman.
Sometimes I need my children to just listen the first time, because I can't bare to ask again.
Sometimes I need people to think of me and what they can do for me, instead of what I can do for them.

I just need someone who I can really count on to help me out when I am weak, cause I feel so alone, and so small right now.

I HATE ALWAYS BEING THE ROCK!

The more I cry, the more WE cry, the more we realize what WE'VE lost.

Hey all

So don't forget to comment on my 3 truths and a lie post. I really want to see what ya'll think. I will extend the date of the revealing of the lie until more people have commented. Thanks Elise and Kim for taking a stab at it.
Love all of you!
Thanks for your thoughtful words and support!

Karilynn

Here's a lemon for ya.

Last night, I lost the baby (as in the baby in my tummy, the one I was supposed to have in May, the one who was supposed to be my last). How do you make pie out of that?

What I've Lost

Tonight I lost:

A little bit of hope,
A little bit of fear,
A little bit of naivety,
A little bit of surety,
A little bit of joy,
A little bit of pain,
And a whole lot of blood.

3 Truths and a lie!

My sis-in-law posted this fun game so here I go! I am going to write four facts about me. 3 will be true... but one will be.... not exactly honest! Just for fun I'll stick to the theme she used, LOVE!! Let's see who can guess which are true and which is a LIE!!!


1. I met my Hubby when I was 19. Got married when I was 19 and had my first baby when I was 19.

2. I knew right from the start that Darin was the one for me! So when I found out I was pregnant I was certain our life together would have it's challenges but for the most part be beautiful.

3. The first couple years of marriage were pretty rough for us, but after we figured eachother out, life became easier and I love my hubby more each day!

4. If mother in-laws could be chosen from a line-up I would choose the one I got! She is amazing! Seriously one of the greatest women I have ever known!


Kay... so those might sort of be lame... but I should be cleaning... and procrastination is burning a hole in my brain! Good Luck All!! I'll tell you which one is the lie on Sunday I guess!

So tired!

For the last few weeks, I've been so tired! Like I really really need naps but don't manage to get them. Sometimes I think I need a break. I spend every day babysitting or entertaining and all that results from it is a messy house and sheer exhaustion. I wish I could say I'll wait till later to nap, but Jay has Taekwondo and blah blah blah. Oh well... I guess worst case scenario I will get used to being so tired! Right now I would give anything for a binky (to get my niece to stop crying) and a nap!

What to do with lemons?

So... we have a lot of lemons coming our way and although lemonade would be nice, it's more like being knocked over when one hits you in the head.

Ever since the company Darin worked for (almost from the start of his electrical career) went under we've found an abundance of lemons piled on our door step. So just because I feel like venting today. I will number and stack them one by one for the whole world to see!

#1-When the company went kapoot they did not have "the funds" to issue final paychecks. This was a couple thousand dollars that we just didn't get!

#2- As Darin started looking for other jobs he realized that NO ONE pays as much as the company he was working for was paying. So while he was anticipating a $4 raise when he got his journeyman he found himself talking to several people who weren't sure if they could pay him the money he was already making as an apprentice. (In the midst of the chaos from the job loss he took a week off, passed his final test, and got his journeyman license. )

#3- When he finally decided on a company (he had about 7 job offers ranging in pay and benefits) he picked a company based on information given to him that was NOT TRUE! We were told this company was huge and well established, NOT SO!!

#4- The owner of this company is bi-polar or something! (That's a nice way of saying he's an asshole.) One day he's telling him how much he appreciates him and the next day he's asking him why he didn't get more done.
- He has told Darin a lot of lies. I'm not saying that he intended to have them be lies. I think he really wanted them to be true, but either way.... they are lies! (Like that he wouldn't be running a job site and then making him run it. Or that he could have benefits sooner when that's actually not possible.)
- He has another journeyman in Utah county who has been working for him for like 5 years and according to him this guy can do no wrong. Darin spends a lot of time listening to people complain about this guy and occasionally cleans up his messes but for the most part, they kind of avoid each other.
- He and his OTHER journeyman do not take responsibility for their actions. If something is done wrong or not done at all they make up an excuse and blame it on anyone but themselves! WHO WANTS TO WORK FOR A COMPANY THAT DOESN'T TAKE ON ANY ACCOUNTABILITY? Who wants to do business with a company like this?

#5- For the last several weeks Darin has been required to work an hour and a half from home every day and for the last 2 weeks he has been required to work 3 hours away and sleep there over night. (They go up on Thursday and come home on Friday.)

#6- I got Darin's paycheck today and not surprising, his promised raise was NOT on it! Go figure. It's like pulling teeth to get this guy to do what he says he's going to do.

#7- Darin is miserable, tired and mean all the time. Physically and emotionally exhausted from dealing with all the BULLSHIT!!

#8- The company has a little bit of a "high school drama" going on. For whatever reason, after 9:00 every night Darin is sure to get a call from his boss asking him if so and so is talking shit, or so and so said you said.... is this true!? WTF? Are we in high school? I mean seriously... this dude has no women working for him... so what's his excuse?

And so as I would like to take these lemons and make some lemon meringue pie, I'm tied down to helplessness. Darin should find another job. One where he is genuinely appreciated, but who's to say that somewhere else will be better? If there was one thing that was exceptional about his previous company it was that they always showed that they appreciated him, and they never lied. I know that there has got to be somewhere better for him, even if it doesn't pay as much. But where?