HE'S HOME!!!!!

WOO HOO!! Dad is home! SO exciting! :o)

Are the walls getting closer?

Lately... I feel over emotional and like the walls are closing in on me somehow. Hmm... I wonder if Cindy still has those Valium!! ;o)

Dumb nurse...

My dad has had the same nurse 4 days in a row and she is a total cack! Yesterday I didn't even go up to the hospital because I didn't want to see her ugly mug! I thought that for sure he would have someone else today but I just got off the phone with my mom and SHE IS THERE AGAIN!!! UGH!!! She already looked overworked and underpaid the first day she showed up; I can only imagine how obnoxious and rude she is today! I need to go up there though. HMM....

So.. on Thursday they decided to put my dad on Bi-pap to try and force the expansion of his lungs in hopes that he would get off the oxygen. They didn't start it until after I left on Friday and I didn't see him at all yesterday but the gist of it is.. they were supposed to have him on for 2 hours and then off for 2 hours. I assume that the pattern looked more like on for 2 and off for 3 or 4 until the nurse finally got her ass in the room to put it back on him. Either way, it's working!! Today he is off bi-pap and according to my lovely mommy... he is 95% on 3L via Nasal Cannula... which pretty much rocks! With sats like that he can come home today or tomorrow... even if he needs to come home on oxygen, that would kick ass!

I've also come to realize how emotional this is for all my siblings... on a level that maybe I can't even understand. Yesterday I tried to get us all together to talk about how important we ALL are to his recovery and how each of us can help him recover and keep his spirits up. (I have been sensing that some people are feeling left out of the recovery process and I know how much EVERYONE wants to help!!!) Hmm... didn't happen. Most people were excited to get together but a couple were pissed at me for suggesting it. I suppose I should have expected it... but I was really blown away. I hope today is a better day and that at some point we really can get together to figure some stuff out and make sure that EVERYONE knows how important they are to him!!!

Lesson learned? GOOD INTENTIONS DON'T MEAN SHIT IF PERCEPTIONS/EFFORTS ARE NOT IN ALIGNMENT WITH THOSE INTENTIONS.

Thursday

Yesterday was a much better day! I went there to kick his butt... and he took the challenge head on. I am lucky to "know what I'm doing" so he is very not ornery with me! He is quite ornery with others though... so I know he's getting better. I personally got him up to walk 3 or 4 times yesterday (and supposedly the Cardiac rehab team was supposed to get him up at least twice) he also did his breathing for me, and he let me help him get cleaned up so he could feel human again. I should mention that I did not have to FORCE him to do this stuff. I would say.. hey are you ready to walk again and he would say "OKAY!" He is not quite so easy with other people in my family... but he figures it will be a big to-do with them because they just aren't sure how to help him. (I do have the fact that I did this as my job for 4 years to my advantage!) He seems to know that I will do it right and so he prefers to wait for me. He tells them he will do it when I get there. This might be annoying if it were just an excuse... but it's not! When I get there he is right up doing what he needs to do to get better!
NOW IF WE COULD JUST GET HIM OFF THE DAMN OXYGEN!!!!!

Yesterday with Dad

So hmm... I really think that when all is said and done, I will look back and wish I had journaled this experience. So I will keep updateing the blog. I will keep writing in medical terms... sorry if you don't get it but... this is for me! ;o)

I got a call from mom a little after 7 asking me what time I would be at the hospital. My dad's heart rate had become "erratic" and he had left Normal Sinus Rhythm sometime early morning and had been in Atrial Fib. Mom was obviously worried about this... so was I! They told us that this happens 50% of the time. I guess we all want my dad to be the OTHER 50% who never experiences any of these semi-normal sidetracks from a PERFECT recovery. When I arrived he was laying in bed looking incredibly uncomfortable with a wet washcloth on his head and a non-rebreather blowing at 15L. (It's an oxygen mask... but not the kind you want on! It's the last step before ventillation!) I think seeing him like that just added to my frustration from the day before. I went out in the hall to talk to his nurse and saw a nurse I LOVE from the float pool and the flood gates just opened. Too much pain... not enough orneryness.

So the Cardiovascular PA came in and told us that he was doing GREAT... (could of fooled me!) He explained that if the medication he was on did not put him back into normal sinus rhythm by the next day, they would just put him to sleep for a minute and shock his heart to see if it would go back. Otherwise he said that some people LIVE in Atrial Fib for 30+ years. Hmm... good to know that it's okay... but... yeah... not really what any person who needs to do some serious rehab wants to hear. The PA also ordered the chest tubes out. Unfortunately... the charge nurse had other ideas. She was convinced that my dad was starting with pneumonia and insisted that the PA get a chest x-ray before they removed them. (It took 3 hours to get the CXR and another 4 hours to get the tubes out!) BLAH!!!! When all was said and done, the PA won and the chest tubes DID come out around 4. Also in the course of the day, his heart went back into Normal Sinus Rythm. WOOHOO!!!!

So there was a lot of progess physically in the course of yesterday. Unfortunately... he seems mentally TIRED, maybe even a little defeated. I can't begin to imagine how much pain he is in and I know that he occasionally wonders if it's really worth all this to be alive. Part of this mind set comes from the fact that this MAJOR surgery is not an easy fix. It's a bandaid really. It does not guarantee he will live until he dies of something other than his heart. It basically gives him up to 10 years before he will need more cardiac interventions. At the ripe old age of 53, that could mean 3 more MAJOR surgeries if he wants to keep on keeping on. Depression is a big part of these types of surgeries, but mental stamina is key to recovery. For the most part it's up to him whether he gets better or worse. He has got to get out of bed, WALK, use his Insentive Spirometer (to prevent pneumonia) and insist on getting better. I'm heading up to the hospital again today. I think I'm going to kick his butt a little. (OR maybe a lot.) We'll see how it goes. But I plan to be there about 4 hours and in that time I desperately want him to walk at least twice and use the IS at least 4 times. I also want him out of the bed the entire time! WISH ME LUCK!!

ICU Whoas

So last night after my dad's quin bypass surgery I specifically asked the nurse how long he would be in the ICU. She told us that with PERFECT numbers on all his labs and if he were doing PERFECTLY... he would go up TONIGHT. So this morning the Dr. came in at 7 in the morning and informed my mom that "his numbers look good... we need his bed... we want him out of the ICU by NOON!!"
WTF Dr. Cardiovasular? Seriously... so they sent my dad up to the med surg floor at like 11:30 in the morning. We are talking he was like 15 hours post-op and they sent him to a nurse with 3 other patients... put him in a secluded hallway and took away his IV pain meds! In case you can't tell... I'm a little PISSED! He still has 3 chest tubes in.. which are causing him a ton of discomfort and he is trying to survive on 2 percocets every 4 hours while experiencing nausea that is not relieved by the shitty Zofran they are giving him. (They refuse to give him Phenergan which would actually help with the pain as well as the nausea.)
I'm just bugged that they pushed him out of the ICU. One of the stipulations for leaving is being off of IV pain meds and he was DEFINITELY not ready for that. His heart rate has been elevated and his face has been tense the entire day. He is also kind of loopy today. There are 2 kinds of loopy in health care... loopy from too many drugs or loopy from too much pain. Today... his loopiness was totally caused by the fact that he was HURTING LIKE HELL.
So I'm looking forward to tomorrow being a better day. He will have the chest tubes taken out around 9 in the morning and hopefully getting them out will lift his spirits and eleviate some pain. Hmm... this sure is a roller coaster. I can only imagine how bad my dad would love to get off the ride.

Update

It's late and I need to go to bed but I wanted to update and let everyone know that the surgery went "as smooth as they could have hoped". All five blockages were bypassed and my dad... although a little drugged seem like he is ready to work hard on recovering. He is a so strong! I'm just so glad that he is mine.

Tomorrow

So... my dad's surgery is tomorrow. We'll keep you up to date with how things go. The Dr. told him that he will be out of it and in ICU for a couple days. Our kids are not allowed in the ICU. We made sure to take them all up to the hospital to see him today since it will be a few days before they can see him again! HMMM.... this sure is a big deal!

Err... cholesterol... heart probs... not old... blah!

Okay... today my dad went to the hospital complaining of chest pain. I am far from panicky so really thought nothing of it. I've worked in the hospital for so long that I just don't stress about that stuff. Anyway... then my mom calls and tells me that they are transferring him to a bigger hospital because of some lab results. I was more irritated that they were making him go via ambulance and trying to convince my mom to tell them she would take him herself for free then worried!!! She of course is a push over and would never do that.

So he gets to the big hospital where they do an angiogram and find that VOILA!!!! He has 5 BLOCKAGES!! That's right 5! What does this mean? Open heart surgery... Coronary Artery Bypass Graft (known in the OR as a CABG).

Well.. I am no pro when it comes to cardiac surgeries but I have worked in the OR and have seen these procedures done. They are VERY intrusive... we are talking chest wide open, machine pumping blood while the heart is being worked on, legs cut open to "harvest" veins... BLECK!!! These surgeries are also INCREDIBLY fascinating and VERY successful.

So.. my dad will go under the knife once again at the ripe YOUNG age of 54 to give his heart new life.

I must say that none of this comes as a surprise as his cholesterol has been above 400 for at least 5 years. He has been a ticking bomb and once again... the brilliant Dr. who never ceases to amaze me with his STUPIDITY and IGNORANCE did absolutely nothing about it!

Misc. Pics and nesting project from hell!

I went to download some pics and found this one. I just think it's cute! I'm pretty sure this was a Sunday afternoon with the boys. They have since gotten hair cuts but I love pics of Darin sleeping with Dom. So sweet!



This pic is just Dom being Dom. I was on my way to take pictures of the disaster I am tackling and of course... he wants to pose!



So here is what this post was really about. NESTING! I have a huge mess to take care of in the baby room. It has become a collection of mostly baby stuff with some other random crap. Everytime someone has sent baby clothes I've managed to strategically leave them in the bag they came in and have told myself repeatedly that the baby room will be a nesting project. Unfortunately... I can't wait that long! My midwife is coming for my home visit in a couple of weeks and while that's plenty of time to get it done, it's not plenty of time to wait until I FEEL like it! I figure at about 37 weeks I'll go all out and be dieing to get all of these things done... but I would like Richelle (the Midwife) to see what we have set up for the little guy. So now I have laundry to wash (in free and clear detergent) that has been in boxes for a couple of years. I have the crib to take apart and raise up. I have the mattress that decided to hide in the room to try and figure out what to do with. (I already know what I WANT to do with it... but Darin has his own stuff in mind.) I have some crap that Darin's friend LEFT in our house after staying for a week... that was last summer so IT'S TRASH!!! And I have to figure out what else I still need for the baby. So far on my list... HAND SANITIZER.

Anyway... here's a pic of what I have to tackle. Hopefully I will post it all done in the next day or two.



So wish me luck!! I meant to take more pics of the mess that is Colton's room... but the batteries in the camera died! GRRR!!!

It's official.

I've been researching curriculum and talking to lots of women who homeschool their kids and I have officially decided that I WILL homeschool. I think that I will let the boys finish the school year at Harvest Elementary but will keep them home one or two days a week to do home school stuff. Their school is way behind on curriculum and I want to start catching up! I also am going to put them in a biology class at a place that teaches these amazing classes for homeschooled kids. This will start on Thursdays the week after spring break so they will definitely not be at school on Thursdays!

I have found tons of info so if any of you who commented before are interested in finding out more about homeschool... let me know! I'll be happy to chat! ;o)