So... as some of you may or may not know... I'm planning a home birth for this little guy! That's right... I am going to push this little guy out in my own home. I'm going to sleep in my own bed after I have him and NO ONE is going to take him away from me to carry him off to the stupid nursery for tests and forget to bring him back!
I've had 2 babies without epidurals... I've never had an episiotomy or tear. My longest labor was 8 hours and that was with my first... subsequent births have been 4 and 3 hours. My biggest baby was a WHOPPING 6 lbs 8ozs and I love birth! I am very confident that I will birth at home... so here's my problem...
I hired this midwife and I am just not that sure about things. I like her on the phone. We have huge misunderstandings through e-mail, and when she is doing a pre-natal I feel like she is overly formal... IDK... I guess I want my midwife to feel like a really intelligent friend. Someone that you like enough to invite them to your birth because you have a special bond and they know how to help you with the things that you don't instinctually know how to do... like unwrap a nucal chord (around the neck) or deal with the placenta, birth certificate and cleaning up process. Anyway... we had this huge "issue" over money and now that it's all taken care of... I still don't feel comfortable with her. I have talked to another midwife and have arranged to meet her.... but I'm not sure if I'm just not going to be comfortable with anyone... or if my midwife is not right for me. What sucks about all of this is that midwives are business people and to her... it doesn't matter if she is uncomfortable with me, as long as she gets paid. (In my world as a Doula it is super important to not take on clients that you are not comfortable with or who you are not comfortable with because if your client doesn't trust you then your efforts will not be helpful!) I know that I should just find someone else but then I don't want to like hurt her feelings or PISS HER OFF.
Anyway.... does anyone have any feedback on this? I get that most people see their Dr. for like 2 hours the entire pregnancy and 5 minutes in the end... but this is not the route of care I have chosen... Also... if anyone has questions on homebirth... feel free to ask! I have lots and lots of answers!
Hope all is well!
I'm back
3 years ago
6 comments:
So here is my two cents. You are paying for a service, if you are not satsified with the service provided it is up to you to initiate the change if you don't it is your own fault, so you are right it is a buisness and you should get the service you are paying for. YOU are what really matters right now and how you feel YOU need to feel comfortable and confident with the midwife you are having help make this experiance the best possible. Good Luck !!!!
I agree with Elise. You are paying for this service and you should feel comfortable with the person. If you don't your birth experience won't be all you want it to be. I would be honest with her and tell her you're looking elsewhere. Good luck
Ditto. If she treats it as a business arrangement, she should understand that if someone changes their mind, that's the way it goes. I understand you don't want to upset anyone, but if she truly has the mindset of "this is my business" then she should understand and not get upset and see it as a personal strike against her. You shouldn't worry about if she will be offended, you need to focus on you and the baby and what is best for both of you. The whole reason you are doing your home birth is to have the wonderful experiences that you wouldn't get from a hospital, so why cheat yourself out of that?
That was me (LES) who commented sorry I forgot to sign it
I agree with everyone here! This is your last pregnancy and birth so make it the best you can! I know you can find someone you like and are excited to have in your home to be apart of your wonderful experience!! How exciting to have a home birth...you'll have to email me and let me know how you came to this decision. love ya
Itotally agree with everyone! You want this birth to be awesome! So definitely make sure your midwife is someone you want around. Love ya!
Ang
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